Come second intermission, the Wings were down 2-0 and I decided to sulk my way to the fan shop to take my mind off of the fact that despite how close we have come, we just might not win the Stanley Cup this year. If had to go home without being able to see my team lift the cup, at least I’d have some sweet merchandise to show for the evening. The shop was bangin’ and I had my sights set on a jersey t-shirt. I looked for Helm in a large. Sold out. Holmstrom in a large? Sold out. The only larges left were Lidstrom and Ozzie to my surprise. I picked up a red Lidstrom t-shirt and headed back to the suite to watch the third period in nervousness and fear, and to no avail my Red Wings lost. I did not cry. I wasn't even mad. I was incapable of any emotion. I sat in complete disbelief. My mind literally would not allow me to believe that the playoffs were over and that the Wings had just lost game 7. My brain was automatically flooded with random thoughts as a defense mechanism to keep me from going insane. Fucking Max Talbot. One might say the t-shirt i purchased is a bad omen, but I argue the exact opposite.
Not unlike Jesus, you could say it has been through the depths of Hell and back. This shirt has seen the worst possible thing a shirt can see. A Cup Final game 7 loss at the Joe. Pure hell. When I got home I tried the shirt on and it fit me a bit weird. That and the fact that it reminded me of the bitter evening of June 12th resulted in the shirt sitting in my closet for the next 10 months. But like Jesus, the shirt has returned to save our souls.
Fast-forward to this year. Despite the scar it left in my mind, I am completely over last June’s loss and am looking forward to another 2 months of sweet, sweet playoff hockey. It is now Friday, April 16th, or game 2. I am extremely superstitious when it comes to luck and the clothing that I wear. So what will I wear tonight? Mind you I have plenty of Red Wings apparel (2 jerseys, 2 jersey tees, 2 hoodies) but I have ruled that my black practice jersey was not to be worn on a game day again because it is the jersey that I wore to game 7 last year for the cup loss. I will not wear my Kronwall jersey during this series because the first time I wore it was at the game against PHX that the Coyotes hit 3 quick goals in the last 2 minutes to send the game into OT before they proceeded win. Easily the 2nd most frustrated I’ve ever been leaving the Joe. Needless to say that jersey will not be worn during another coyotes game again, especially not the ones in this series. My Franzen jersey tee has about a 50/50 record so i have deemed it to be neither good nor bad luck. An ineffective shirt.
Fresh out of the shower, looking through my closet i spotted my red Lidstrom tee hanging up from last year. I figured I'd give the shirt a chance since I haven't worn it since last year. Since it was particularly warm out that day, I wasn’t going to wear one of my Wings hoodies so I threw the Lizard King shirt on. That night, although Jimmah gave up 4 goals, the Wings netted 7 and Hank gave us the gift of Curly fries. Interesting, shirt. We may have something here. Though i was pleased, I was reluctant to give it too much credit. I liked what I saw but I was not yet ready to deem the shirt lucky.
Game 3 was lost at home in a poor fashion to put the wings down 2-1 in the series. The shirt was taking a break in the washing machine at the time. We needed a boost for game 4 because another loss would have meant a 3-1 deficit which would have surely been near impossible to overcome with PHX's home ice advantage. So I knew it was time for this shirt to really go to work and show what it was made of (besides creamy soft 100% cotton). I threw it on and met my boys in the living room for the start of game 4. First period: No score. Come on shirt don’t let me down. Second period: BOOM goal Zetterberg. Okay things are heading in the right direction. Third period: BOOM goal Pasha. BOOM, Z, goal #2. Clock runs out. Game over. 3-0. Shutout Jimmah. Hank almost brings home the curlies once again. The shirt now has a 2-0 record and has seen a scoring record of 10-4 in favor of Detroit.
The series is tied 2-2 and I decide to let nature take it’s course for game 5 in an effort not to wear down the shirt’s potentially lucky essence. Does Uncle Babbles wear his lucky McGill tie every game? No. To wear the lucky shirt every game is to expect the shirt to bring the Wings to a 16-game win streak and a four series consecutive sweep. You must properly space out the games that the shirt sees and selectively choose games that NEED to be won. Game 5 saw a victory in Phoenix for the Wings and they now took a 3-2 series lead. Things are looking good.
Game 6 at the Joe could see the wings clear the Yotes off the map, and if it didn’t, PHX would have to win game 7 (which would mean 2 wins in a row) in order to advance. Detroit is the favorite as they are obviously the better team despite their low seeding, however the only home game that Detroit plays over the last 2 is on a Sunday at 2:30 in the afternoon. Detroit’s record for Sunday games: 2-4. Detroit’s record for afternoon games: 2-10. Detroit is destined to lose game 6 and the Yotes have home ice for game 7. Do I bust out the lucky shirt for game 6 at home in attempt to break the perpetual Sunday afternoon slump that is sure to prevail? Or do i save it for the possible game 7 that is to be played in Phoenix if we lose Saturday?
I ultimately decide to save the shirt for game 7 because since the Wings lose so often during Sunday afternoons, we are bound to win one at some point. That combined with the fact that it’s the playoffs and stupid little fun-facts like that aren’t going to be a factor. And what if we happen to lose while I’m wearing the shirt during game 6 (not to imply a lack of faith in the shirt, but it could very well happen. The shirt’s only seen 2 games after all)? The shirt would lose it’s touch and it wouldn’t have the full winning essence that it needs for a game 7.
So I decide to let the Wings do their thing without the shirt in game 6 as well..... Fuck. Game 6 loss. Surprise surprise. The Wings completely shat the bed on that gloomy Sunday afternoon, not unlike game 3. There is literally shit all over their bed. Big shocker. Game 7 in the desert, T-minus two days (Time still TBA. No rush, Gary). This is bad. Lets break it down, bitches.
Things working in PHX’s favor:
- Home ice
- The momentum of a 5-goal victory in game 6
- Mule/Kronner/Helmer have decided that they don't really want to play in this round
Things working against PHX:
- The fact that a game 7 victory would mean having to win 2 in a row against a mad Detroit Red Wings team. (What happened the last few times they angered the Wings? Dramatic Detroit victories.)
- Howard’s inevitable bounce-back
- Where is Doan LOL
- The lucky Lidstrom Tee will lead the way
Come Tuesday, I will be wearing the shit out of that red t-shirt at Buffalo Wild Wings, the very place I sat while the Wings jailsexed the faces of the Mighty Ducks of Walt Disney in last year’s Western Conference Semi-final game 7, alongside a gaggle of other raving lunatic Wings fans. Think back to last years cup run and try to remember how stressed you were before game 7 of the Ducks series. Put that feeling into perspective alongside the way you feel now about that playoff run as a whole. That little game 7 wasn't nothin' but a peanut. Those were the Ducks. We're talking about the fucking Coyotes here. If/when we advance, we'll look back and laugh at ourselves for even worrying about Tuesdays game.
If history is to be repeated, Lord Jimmah will redeem himself in a big way and the pumped up heavy-weight juggernaut that is Detroit will come stomping out on Tuesday, shaking the foundations of the Jobing.com Arena, cracking skulls and whacking off onto the faces of the fair-weather fans of the Phoenix Coyotes. So lets FUCKING GO RED WINGS! HOOAH!!
(Photo taken from a genius photochopper at A2Y)
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